Unfortunately, grief is something everyone can experience and it can be very difficult to deal with. If this has happened to you, it will become an extremely difficult time which can see you go through waves of emotion. It’s never easy and we wish there was a magical invention that could stop this from happening. Fortunately, there are things you can do which could help you move on with your life whilst remembering the incredible person you were lucky enough to have in your life. We really hope these tips can help you in some way.
1. Celebrate their life and how incredible they were.
If you think about what you want to be remembered for. It’ll probably be something positive like being loyal, loving and more. So if someone has sadly passed away, make sure you celebrate how amazing they were and how much they positively impacted your life. Get people who knew them to write beautiful memories in a book so you can read over how many lives they touched throughout the years.
2. Talk about your grief when you’re comfortable enough to do so.
No one can be strong 100% of the time. It’s completely normal to feel empty during times of grief however when you want to, you should talk about your feelings. Being open, sharing memories and even telling someone how angry you are is a way of dealing with it. For a few weeks, you might lock up your feelings or they might pour out, so make sure you are around people who you love. Open up when you’re ready and don’t force yourself.
3. Wear something that symbolises them.
Many people decide to keep items that were left by a loved one. You might feel comforted to wear something that they loved wearing themselves and it’s a way you can still feel connected to them. If they don’t have anything you could wear, buying a piece of jewellery containing their birthstone is a beautiful way to symbolise their wonderful life.
4. Join a group that can support you.
There are spiritualist centres that host groups that understand what it’s like to experience a huge amount of grief. Sometimes when all of your family are upset, it can be difficult to talk to one another without getting too upset. Here you can openly talk and listen to people you don’t know, which can be a good break. Even though they might be strangers, they are probably going through the same thing as you, which can be really helpful. You might meet someone who has lost someone in the previous year, and they might even be able to share advice on how they rebuilt their life.
5. Don’t be critical of yourself.
We all grieve differently, so don’t tell yourself you’re not allowed to feel powerful emotions. Take your time and grieve the way that feels right for YOU. Some people find it difficult to let a passing sink in, which can leave them filling numb and emotionless. Others can be upset day in and day out for a long time. Remember that what you’re going through is a big deal and it’s ok if you don’t act the same as everyone else. People can experience different stages of grief, so never tell yourself it’s bad to feel this way.
6. Think about what that person would want for you.
This is really important. During times of grief, you might have a day where you’re in a happier mood than usual. Unfortunately, this can bring on thoughts such as “Why am I feeling happy? They wouldn’t want me to forget about them”, which can be damaging to your wellbeing. Do not feel guilty for having a mental break from your grief. It’s important that you try to take part in activities and one day, you’ll find it easier to laugh again. The person who you’ve lost would want you to be happy. They’ll want what’s best for you and you’d want the same if the situation was reversed. You deserve happiness, so if you have a good week, enjoy it!
7. Allow friends to help whenever they can.
You will probably want to stay in the house for weeks on end before going through a healing process. If a friend invites you over for a cup of tea, try to pick yourself up enough to go if you can. At the end of the day, they’ll only want to be there for you the same way you’d be there for them. It will help to see close friends who aren’t involved in the situation so you can talk about something else if you want to. Surround yourself with positive people and it’ll help you cope.